“Man, go easy on the self-loathing,” I tell Jozine as she swills the potent stuff.

We’re sitting on the stools by her little kitchen counter. Before I knew it, she busted out some of her intense, home-brewed stuff. I know she can stomach it, but it’s still tough on the psyche.

“Force of habit,” she says once she’s gulped down a heavy dose. “An easy answer to my problems.”

“Yeah, if by ‘answer’ you mean explanation and not solution.”

“Solutions can start with explanations,” she rebuts all too blithely. Continue reading →

When I return to my desk after lunch, I find a message from Jozine asking me to meet with her in the afternoon, at her lab. That can only mean I’m about to have a lot more work on my hands.

As I head to her lab deep in the Self Destruction division, the facilities and personnel I pass once again engender a keen, awkward alienation. All the equipment I glimpse through open doors and wide windows or see sitting in the long, metallic corridors, I know what their functions are (I have to for my work) but have operated very few of them directly. Many are precisely and devastatingly powerful. Continue reading →

“Dude,” I exclaim the moment I see him walk into the warmup area. “You’re looking all febrile.”

Concerned by his flushed appearance, I start to wonder if Ruod is in any condition to be exercising.

“Yeah, it’s all the love I’ve been handling,” he says nonchalantly, setting down his bag of workout gear on the studio floor, by the wall closest to us.

“Oh, okay. Nothing like that particular emotion to make you feverish,” I remark, relieved.

“Definitely.”

“So what’s with all the exposure to love?” I ask, knowing that he hasn’t exactly been drowning in the powerful stuff for a while now. Continue reading →